Tag: forgiveness

Aug 31

WHY FORGIVE?

Why is forgiveness so incredibly hard?  Divorce is a good example of an event that causes significant emotional pain and one in which it is so hard to forgive.  Many fear that forgiveness will result in increased vulnerability and future hurt so they select self-protection over letting go.  Others seek retribution and may have learned unforgiveness from their …

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Jan 06

FREEDOM FROM GUILT

As I mentioned in last week’s blog we all experience both healthy and unhealthy guilt.  Guilt can be related to things we did or didn’t do.  People often deal with guilt, like other negative emotions, through various defense mechanisms.  For example, addictions are one way we attempt to numb our emotional pain and avoid dealing …

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Sep 30

LETTING GO

Last week I talked about grudge holders and why people choose to hang on.  Control and punishment, fear, and insecurity are the some of the top reasons for not letting go.  Hanging on to emotional angst creates other problems and keeps people stuck in turmoil.  As mentioned last week, some choose to be the victim …

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Aug 07

CHOOSE FORGIVENESS

As I mentioned last week, forgiveness is a process and a choice.  Forgiveness requires desire, action, and intention.  So how do you do it?  One way is to write a letter to the person you are forgiving, share the emotional pain that they caused, and decide to let go of the negative feelings rather than …

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Jul 30

WHY FORGIVE?

Stress

What are the benefits of forgiving and the consequences of not forgiving?  Why do people choose not to forgive?  Let me start with the latter question first.  Forgiveness is a choice and many individuals hang onto anger, resentment, hurt and sadness to punish others which ultimately punishes themselves.  Even if you decide to cut off …

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Jan 30

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS HAPPEN

Last week I discussed how dysfunctional people are drawn to each other. For the record, everyone has some dysfunction in their lives. Some have more than others. The key is what are you doing about your own individual issues. Do you recognize or acknowledge your issues? Are you actively working on changing, growing, and healing …

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Dec 21

GIFT OF A LIFETIME

What do you want for Christmas this year?  What if you could be free of guilt, fear, sadness and hurt.  Well, maybe I overstated it.  All humans experience positive and negative emotions throughout their lives.  Some of us experience them more, while others suppress, deny and avoid all negative emotions.  I believe that when we …

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Jun 06

GALARRAGA’S GRACE

I’m sure you heard or saw the unfortunate miscall by umpire Jim Joyce of Detroit Tiger pitcher Armando Galarraga’s near perfect game.  The noteworthy aspect of this story was what followed the event.  The response by both parties seemed unique and counter-cultural.  For one thing, the umpire openly acknowledged he made the wrong call and …

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May 14

STOP LIVING IN THE PAST

How many people do you know that are still living in the past?  Holding on to the past keeps it in the present.  Why do people choose to stay in the past?  For some, hanging on to anger and hurt keeps them protected and safe.  They can keep others at arm’s length and never allow …

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Sep 21

PEACEFUL RELATIONSHIPS, PEACEFUL LIVES

Did you know that today is the International Day of Peace? It was established in 1982 through the United Nations as a day set aside for the entire world to observe peace.  We live in such a violent and chaotic world that peace seems to be an unrealistic goal.  Yet, we can make a difference …

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