Tag Archive: conflict

Aug 02

DELIVERING THE MESSAGE

How do you share difficult information or confront conflict?  Which delivery system do you rely on and how well is the message received?  Often people need to share important feelings and information, but their delivery is aggressive, condescending or belittling.  They may be completely unaware of the impact that their delivery style has on others, …

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Jul 26

THINK VERSUS FEEL

Are you a thinker or feeler?  Some people favor thinking over feeling because it fits their personality type and they are very good at solving problems.  Thinkers often get rewarded at work for their ability to analyze situations and identify solutions to conflicts.  They have the ability to stay rational and logical without allowing emotion …

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Jul 19

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

Do you tend to attack or retreat when in a verbal confrontation?  Many of us choose one of these options and ironically, in relationships, each individual often selects the opposite position.  We either lash out or shut down when dealing with conflict.  Maybe we select the side that we learned from our past experiences or …

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Feb 24

SPEAK UP!

Do you know anyone who has a hard time being direct?  Many people would rather avoid conflict and keep things inside than communicate directly.  They are worried about hurting the other person’s feelings or fear the reaction they might receive.  Two ways people communicate indirectly are through being passive and holding everything inside, and being passive-aggressive and …

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Dec 01

RESENTMENT LEADS TO DETACHMENT

What happens to the negative emotions you experience in your relationships?  For many those feelings are internalized, suppressed, stuffed, and compartmentalized until they are buried so deep that they are difficult to extract.  The problem is that those feelings don’t go away over time, instead they require more effort to keep them hidden and suppressed. …

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Sep 08

CONNECT THROUGH CONFLICT

Have you ever noticed that some people create conflict or drama wherever they go?  Sort of like the Peanuts character Pigpen who has a cloud of dirt/dust surrounding him.  There are those people who can trigger emotions in just about anyone and seem to enjoy the reaction they get from others.  What is that all …

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Nov 04

UNAVOIDABLE CONFLICT

Conflict is a given, but the outcome doesn’t always have to be negative.  Some of us go to great lengths to avoid conflict and assume the interaction will end poorly.  Very few of us grew up with exposure to successful conflict resolution and some witnessed either intense conflict or none at all.  Chronic and unresolved …

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Apr 29

MEN AVOID CONFLICT

Men are more easily overwhelmed by marital conflict than their wives according to leading researcher on marriage and family Dr. John Gottman.  He found that men are more physiologically reactive to relational conflicts and stress than women.  One reason Gottman believes this to be true lies in our evolutionary heritage  since males whose bodies reacted …

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Feb 29

CONFLICT WITHOUT RESOLUTION

Are you in a relationship that has continual conflict but rarely has resolution? Many of the couples that I work with have a difficult time achieving resolution and closure at times of conflict. Some individuals have limited skill or experience with conflict resolution. Conflict is part of everyone’s life and is unavoidable, similar to taxes. …

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Aug 16

CONFLICT WITHOUT RESOLUTION

Are you in a marriage that has continual conflict, but no resolution?  Many of the couples I work with consistently have trouble achieving resolution.  Do you know what resolution looks like?  Did you observe it growing up?  Plenty of people witnessed conflict during their childhoods, but very few saw resolution.  Some witnessed intense and destructive …

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