Tag: conflict

Sep 27

CUTTING OUT PEOPLE

Do you or someone you know tend to sever ties too quickly or walk away from conflict before resolution occurs?  If you answered yes, you’re not alone.  Many people prefer to avoid conflict even if it means severing ties with a loved one.  They may be convinced that the other person will react poorly so …

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Sep 20

DENIAL IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

Stress

Most everyone has used denial as a way of coping with a traumatic event or distressing information.  Denial can be a good thing at times when it protects us from facing unbearable or shocking news.  However, some people spend much of their time in denial and avoid confronting their problems and pain.  For example, some …

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Aug 02

DELIVERING THE MESSAGE

How do you share difficult information or confront conflict?  Which delivery system do you rely on and how well is the message received?  Often people need to share important feelings and information, but their delivery is aggressive, condescending or belittling.  They may be completely unaware of the impact that their delivery style has on others, …

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Jul 26

THINK VERSUS FEEL

Are you a thinker or feeler?  Some people favor thinking over feeling because it fits their personality type and they are very good at solving problems.  Thinkers often get rewarded at work for their ability to analyze situations and identify solutions to conflicts.  They have the ability to stay rational and logical without allowing emotion …

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Jul 19

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

Do you tend to attack or retreat when in a verbal confrontation?  Many of us choose one of these options and ironically, in relationships, each individual often selects the opposite position.  We either lash out or shut down when dealing with conflict.  Maybe we select the side that we learned from our past experiences or …

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Feb 24

SPEAK UP!

Stress

Do you know anyone who has a hard time being direct?  Many people would rather avoid conflict and keep things inside than communicate directly.  They are worried about hurting the other person’s feelings or fear the reaction they might receive.  Two ways people communicate indirectly are through being passive and holding everything inside, and being passive-aggressive and …

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Dec 01

RESENTMENT LEADS TO DETACHMENT

What happens to the negative emotions you experience in your relationships?  For many those feelings are internalized, suppressed, stuffed, and compartmentalized until they are buried so deep that they are difficult to extract.  The problem is that those feelings don’t go away over time, instead they require more effort to keep them hidden and suppressed. …

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Sep 08

CONNECT THROUGH CONFLICT

Stress

Have you ever noticed that some people create conflict or drama wherever they go?  Sort of like the Peanuts character Pigpen who has a cloud of dirt/dust surrounding him.  There are those people who can trigger emotions in just about anyone and seem to enjoy the reaction they get from others.  What is that all …

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Nov 04

UNAVOIDABLE CONFLICT

Stress

Conflict is a given, but the outcome doesn’t always have to be negative.  Some of us go to great lengths to avoid conflict and assume the interaction will end poorly.  Very few of us grew up with exposure to successful conflict resolution and some witnessed either intense conflict or none at all.  Chronic and unresolved …

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Apr 29

MEN AVOID CONFLICT

Stress

Men are more easily overwhelmed by marital conflict than their wives according to leading researcher on marriage and family Dr. John Gottman.  He found that men are more physiologically reactive to relational conflicts and stress than women.  One reason Gottman believes this to be true lies in our evolutionary heritage  since males whose bodies reacted …

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