DrTony

Author's details

Date registered: November 5, 2011

Latest posts

  1. HIDDEN LIES — August 16, 2017
  2. DON’T ALLOW OTHERS TO STEAL YOUR JOY — August 9, 2017
  3. DELIVERING THE MESSAGE — August 2, 2017
  4. THINK VERSUS FEEL — July 26, 2017
  5. FIGHT OR FLIGHT — July 19, 2017

Author's posts listings

Aug 16

HIDDEN LIES

What keeps us from telling the truth?  Lying is common to human nature.  We all lie on occasion and there is often a purpose for lying.  In some cases, lying has become a habit or reflex that appears uncontrollable to the point that we lie about even the smallest things.  For others, lying is a …

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Aug 09

DON’T ALLOW OTHERS TO STEAL YOUR JOY

Do you know people who are determined to steal others’ joy? The adage misery loves company is sometimes true whereby others want you to experience their pain.  In some cases it has more to do with power and control.  They maintain power over you and control your emotions by manipulating you into thinking that everything …

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Aug 02

DELIVERING THE MESSAGE

How do you share difficult information or confront conflict?  Which delivery system do you rely on and how well is the message received?  Often people need to share important feelings and information, but their delivery is aggressive, condescending or belittling.  They may be completely unaware of the impact that their delivery style has on others, …

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Jul 26

THINK VERSUS FEEL

Are you a thinker or feeler?  Some people favor thinking over feeling because it fits their personality type and they are very good at solving problems.  Thinkers often get rewarded at work for their ability to analyze situations and identify solutions to conflicts.  They have the ability to stay rational and logical without allowing emotion …

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Jul 19

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

Do you tend to attack or retreat when in a verbal confrontation?  Many of us choose one of these options and ironically, in relationships, each individual often selects the opposite position.  We either lash out or shut down when dealing with conflict.  Maybe we select the side that we learned from our past experiences or …

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Jul 12

SUMMER FUN

What do you do for fun?  For many of us, fun is tied to activities, relaxation, and being with friends or family.  However, some people struggle with that question.  Sadly, some people have lost their ability to experience fun, pleasure, or excitement.  Holidays are just another day and celebrations are few and far between.  Sometimes …

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Jul 05

REVIVING RELATIONSHIPS

Why do people wait until a crisis occurs before they seek help?  Many couples prefer to ignore problems until significant damage has been done.  Relationships take work and people would rather coast rather than put in consistent effort.  Think of relationships like a plants that needs watering, sunshine, and fertilizer to maintain life.  Many of …

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Jun 28

POWER EFFECTS

What are the negative effects of power on people?  In other words, does power affect a person’s physical being?  Of course we can identify many ways power can destroy relationships, produce narcissistic behaviors, and lead to self-destructive choices.  But can power directly impact a person’s brain functioning?  Psychology professor Dacher Keltner from UC Berkeley studied …

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Jun 21

CAN YOU FIX MY SPOUSE?

Often people come into my office with the hopes of “fixing” their partner.  The question commonly asked is how can I get my spouse to change?  Or occasionally it transfers to me and the question becomes can you fix my partner?  Typically this is code for my partner doesn’t want to change or I’ve been …

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Jun 14

COLLEGE SUCCESS FACTORS

What determines a student’s ability to succeed in college?  And what can parents do to instill these characteristics?  According to a study at Rice University there are three factors that determine college success:  a sense of belonging, a growth mindset, and personal goals and values.  Currently most colleges rely on cognitive competencies to predict student success; …

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