RACING FROM THE TRUTH
January 20, 2013 in Featured
The truth finally caught up to Lance Armstrong. Why did he decide to share his story with Oprah? Was he trying to convince the public that he is remorseful and sorry for his lies? Were you convinced? I don’t think he was very convincing. I listen to stories everyday in my practice where people hide from the truth. In some cases, they have chosen to live a life filled with lies. Those close to them want to believe them just as we want to believe our perceived heroes. Obviously, lies destroy relationships, but they also create a lonely existence since it is difficult to be close to a liar. Trust and transparency are essential for healthy relationships.
Although Lance acknowledged his mistakes, he still was focused on justification, rationalization, and blame. He, like many of the people I work with in therapy, will only start healing after they’ve acknowledged their issues. Oprah did a good job in asking some difficult questions, but I wish she would’ve asked how he intends to stay on the “right path” and make good decisions for his future. He could’ve used this opportunity to help others who have lied and have a desire to change by focusing more on the process of change.
In other blogs I’ve spoken about ways to build humility, compassion, emotional intelligence, and respect. But how does a person who has fallen out of grace and been knocked off a very tall pedestal convince others that he can lead a life of integrity, honesty, and respect? People can change, people do change and the differences following change are remarkable. While change is often painful, this pain is time-limited whereas remaining dysfunctional produces endless pain. Learn next week ways to build trust and heal relationships after betrayal and deceit.
Tony,
As you know I am a cyclist and I have followed Lance’s career since he was a 15 year old triathlete. I have had the opportunity to meet him on several occasions as well. Most of us who have a passion for bikes and follow the world of cycling have long known that “doping” was prevalent in the sport and just about everyone did it. So it is no surprise that Lance also doped. I don’t believe you would find a Tour de France winner over the last 25 years that did not dope. It is like the steroid era in baseball in which these drugs were not illegal and were not banned until after the records started to fall. Lance is definitely a flawed human like all of us and he lied to protect his image, his income and his pride. Was he remorseful? Yes, I think he was in his own way. That being his need to be high profile with Oprah on national TV.
I did hear him say that he is in counseling and plans to stick with it. I hope and pray he does. Why? Because of the Livestrong foundation. What he has done to help cancer patients and their families cannot be overlooked . I choose to focus on this part of his character and not the other. Ironic that it was his Tour de France exposure that allowed him to create Livestorng. God works in mysterious ways.
Thanks John for your insights about cycling and your positive focus. I agree that he has impacted many people in very positive ways through Livestrong and my hope is that this experience will deepen his desire to impact people’s lives based on his character and commitment to live a life of integrity.
The estimates in the bike world is that 90% of the tour De la France also used some sort of enhancement. Obviously cheating is cheating and excuses are like your rear end, everyone has one. What brought this to the attention of the drug commission was “how dare an American win over and over, pushing aside the French and Italian riders. The fact he also made by estimates $30,000,000 a year made him a target. I seriously doubt that the 2nd and 3rd place non-winners were even looked at. The sad truth of big money sports is that using some sort of drug is more common than not. I wonder if money were not a factor in professional sports the temptation to cheat would still be there? additionally some of this “cheating” is a bit of a stretch. If you train at 7,500 feet at Steamboat Springs for months your blood gets naturally more red blood cells rich for increased oxygen. If you store your own blood and give yourself a transfusion of your own blood the day of the race this is supposed to enhance your performance. It’s your own blood when you trained, no drugs were added to it but to the drug officials this is using drugs.
I also wonder if after having Cancer loosing part of his manhood, that he had some sort of mental driving force.
As to admitting to a lie, once you start with the lie it has a life of its own, and then again there is the financial repercussions of the financial end of admitting to the lie. I actually pray for his eventual recovery from his own denial.
Thanks Richard for your comments and observations. I agree that money is at the root of evil and contributes to lies, along with pride, control, power, admiration, status, and attention just to name a few. I hope he gets the help he needs and he shares and contributes about changes he was able to make.