MARRIAGE AND TANDEM BIKES
June 5, 2012 in Featured
What do tandem bikes and marriages have in common? Think about the similarities between the two and the importance of being “in-sync.” Many of the couples I work with are out of balance and working against each other. Sometimes one person is pedaling as fast as they can while the other person has their feet up. This scenario can cause a lot of frustration, anger, and resentment. Sometimes we are braking while our partner is still pedaling. We can easily crash if we’re not communicating with each other our expectations, intentions, and desires. Many couples spend years together without sharing their needs, goals, or dreams with each other. It is very difficult to proceed on the marriage journey without a game plan and some direction. We also have detours, roadblocks, and rough terrain in life that we occasionally need to maneuver around. Without consistent and effective communication this process can be scary, painful, and lonely. Are making an effort on the tandem bike journey with your partner? Marriage, like biking, requires team work, cooperation, compromise, and communication. Couples that are most successful can resolve conflict effectively, share in control, value each others’ strengths, and take responsibility for powering the marriage. Riding tandem bikes can be fun and exciting or frustrating and irritating depending upon how you approach the experience and your commitment to the process. Decide the experience you want to have in your marriage and work at being a team. Next week I will discuss specific ways to make our lives less stressful and achieve harmony in marriage.
Tony,
Being an avid cyclist your analogy to a tandem makes a lot of since. Sharing our goals and dreams with our spouses sometimes get pushed to the back burner. It is now a new priority!
Thanks for sharing your input and appreciating the analogy.
Excellent analogy. I would add that a couple can be riding 2 separate bikes and riding those separate bikes very well but……bike A can be going in one direction and bike B can be going in a completely different direction. Eventually although both bikes and riders are doing fine, there comes a time when you realize you on bike A can’t see bike bike B and when you start looking bike B is lost or worse yet while Bike B was lost Bike C came along.
As to the tandem bike, yes both riders will be together and yes there is a greater chance for the riders to be in unison but there is a stumbling block there also. The rider in front doing the steering needs to be cognizant that the rider in the rear while pulling their share of the work might also want to do some of the navigation regarding the direction of the bike. The idea of “just to your part peddling and I’ll do all the steering while you are along for the ride” is surely destined for failure!
Thanks for your additional insights and input. We can easily get disengaged and many couples are riding separate bikes and don’t even realize it.
It’s so important to know who you are so that you will attract someone who likes you for who you really are and therefore understands you and because of that can almost anticipate what you are going to do next. And since you know who you are, you will know what you want and what you don’t want and therefore will only attract that someone who likes you for who you really are, and that makes tandem bike riding a real experience in oneness. So, first, know thyself!
Good insight Ray. Knowing yourself is so important in finding the right partner and being “in sync.”